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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26447527">I'm breathing for both of us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakesfck/pseuds/blakesfck'>blakesfck</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>713 rewrite, Bellamy Blake Deserved Better, Gen, No Becho - Freeform, Other, The 100 (TV) Season 7, The 100 (TV) Season 7 Speculation</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:01:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,758</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26447527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakesfck/pseuds/blakesfck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy Blake was part of them. It doesn't matter how much time passed, he would always be remembered. As 'dad of the delinquents', or 'the rebel king' or 'big brother' or 'Bell' or just 'Bellamy.' He was too important to all of them. No, that's wrong. He is.</p><p>–</p><p>Ok so, I rewrote Bellamy's death scene because he deserves. For you guys know, Becho broke up years ago, Bell went to Etherea but he is not one of the disciples. He is on Clarke's side, as should be. The rest is the same.<br/>Also, English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes. </p><p>I hope you enjoy and cry with me</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake &amp; Nathan Miller, Bellamy Blake &amp; Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Bellamy Blake/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake &amp; Clarke Griffin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm breathing for both of us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Look, I don't want to fight. I just need the key." Cadogan said, looking at Sheidheda.</p><p>"Why the hell would I help you? You came here, at my territory and you're the one who's almost starting a war." The other man answered.</p><p>They were standing looking at each other, wanting to win that kind of mental battle for the leadership. Clarke couldn't believe that. When she thought nothing could get worse, she found Sheidheda is alive. And for some reason, now he is with the flame. The same flame Cadogan wanted.</p><p>The disciples were around the room, pointing their guns to everyone. Sheidheda's men were with their swords and weapons.</p><p>The two of them were facing each other when the green light appeared again. Murphy and Gabriel had gone find their others friends. Octavia was the first one to speak.</p><p>"What the hell happened here?"</p><p>"Don't ask me, I just got here either." Clarke said, without taking her eyes off of the men.</p><p>Gaia and Indra quickly hugged each other, just as Miller and Jackson.</p><p>"So... which side are we?" Echo whispered to no one specific.</p><p>"No idea. Actually, I think even Clarke doesn't know." Emori answered in another whisper, that Clarke listened, but again, ignored.</p><p>All Octavia wanted was to go to her brother, who was being held as hostage in the other side of the room. But she couldn't. She knew that.</p><p>Clarke didn't actually know what happened. All she knew is that one moment, they were standing there, and in the other, there was a shooting. But it was one specific shoot. It didn't take her long to realize. Because the man standing in the other side of the room were now in the floor, bleeding.</p><p>"Bellamy!" She didn't care anymore. She just ran to him, quickly putting her hands over the wound, trying to stop the blood. "No, no, don't close your eyes. You'll be fine okay? We're going to find a way."</p><p>She knew they could, because the bullet hadn't got to any important organ. He could live. If they had the time.</p><p>"Clarke. Stop." He said, trying to keep himself strong enough to talk.</p><p>Octavia got there right after her, kneeling by her brother's side.</p><p>"Bellamy? Oh my God, Bell." She clearly had no idea what to do, but her voice told Clarke how desperate she was.</p><p>"Oc. It's okay. I'll be okay." He whispered.</p><p>Clarke and Octavia changed a worried look. They knew what was happening. Bellamy had accepted this. They had to do it either.</p><p>"Octavia, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I failed you."</p><p>"You never failed me, Bell. You are the best brother I could ask for. And I'm so lucky."</p><p>"No. I'm the lucky one. But you'll be fine. I'll find mom, and Lincoln."</p><p>"I love you bell."</p><p>He nodded and softly smiled. And then he turned his head.</p><p>"Clarke. I- I love you. I'm so in love with you. Since the dropship, I think." He said.</p><p>"I love you too. So much Bellamy. I'm sorry I never told you before."</p><p>"It's okay." He said, but she didn't answer. She didn't know what to say.</p><p>"Bellamy, please don't give up. Remember what you told me when I died? That I'm a fighter, so I should give up and fight? So do you. You're gonna be okay Bell"</p><p>"Clarke, stop. It's okay. I know I'll be okay, but so do you, okay? Don't give up." He whispered, already weak.</p><p>"I can't do this without you, Bell."</p><p>"Yes. Yes, you can. You're so strong Clarke, and you can- you can keep going."</p><p>She approached her face to his, and kissed him. The first time, and the last one. Miller, Murphy and Raven approached.</p><p>"Guys. Take- take care of each other. Don't hung, or shoot, or try to kill any of you. Survive. Together." All of them nodded, with a sad smile on their red crying faces.</p><p>Bellamy slowly closed his eyes, and stopped breathing. He was dead. Bellamy Blake died on his sister and the love of his life arms.</p><p>Clarke took her hands off of the wound and let herself broke on Murphy's arms, that involved her.</p><p>"I-" She couldn't finish her sentence, she was too broken for that. So she got up and ran out of the room, going to the outside of the castle. She couldn't breathe. It was like part of her was ripped out of her body. Well, it was. Her heart was gone. Dead. Broken. Forever.</p><p>–––</p><p>All of them looked to the door she has gone through, but none of them said a word. Echo was the first one to move, getting closer to his body, and whispering some words to him.</p><p>Jordan wanted to go after Clarke, but Octavia stopped him. She would.</p><p>"Just- stay here with him, okay? I'll try to find her."</p><p>Raven nodded silently, and the girl went after Clarke.</p><p>She was broken, too. Her brother, the one who took care of her all their lives, was gone. And this time, he wasn't going back. She had just got him back, and he had died on her arms. That was all she could think about, while looking for Clarke.</p><p>When she found her, the blond was sitting in a bench, her elbows on her knees, her face between her hands.<br/>
Octavia approached slowly, and sat by her side, saying anything at first. They both just sat there, crying the death of the man they loved.</p><p>After a few minutes, that looked like hours, Clarke removed her face from her hands and looked up to the sky.</p><p>"Do you remember the day we sent those 'rockets' to the sky, back on dropship days?" She said, still not looking to the woman by her side.</p><p>"Yeah" Octavia whispered.</p><p>"While we were looking at they, I asked him if we could make a wish to that kind of shooting star." She looked to her side, and continued. "He didn't understand what I mean, but he said he didn't even know what to wish for. I didn't know either, and I didn't know for a long time, but now I know" She stopped again.</p><p>Octavia kept looking at her, but didn't say anything. She didn't have to. Her eyes were asking for her.</p><p>"I wish he was here. I wish I had told him before, and I wish I never had to lose him."</p><p>"I wish that too. Even that we don't have a shooting star, I wish I had more time with him."</p><p>Clarke nodded, and looked back to the sky.</p><p>"We have to decide what to do with him, don't we?"</p><p>"Yes. I- I have an idea." Bellamy's sister looked curious, asking Clarke what was her idea. So she told her.</p><p>–––</p><p>After a few more minutes just being there, the girls got up and went back inside, where their friends were waiting for them, saying their last goodbyes. When clarke opened the door, all the heads went to her. Sheidheda was sitting in his chair, and Cadogan and his disciples looked impatient. Of course they were. They didn't feel anything. Looking at him, everything Clarke wanted was killing him, but she knew she couldn't.</p><p>"We're gonna help you." Octavia said, looking to the shepherd. "But you're going to help us first."</p><p>He nodded, and she explained the plan. He agreed, but Echo didn't feel like liking it.</p><p>"Are you guys sure? It doesn't look like a good idea."</p><p>"It doesn't matter." Clarke said, almost a whisper. "It doesn't have to be good, it just has to be fair. It is what he would have wanted."</p><p>That wasn't a discussion. Indra went out and got back with some sheets on her hands.</p><p>Emori, Hope and Gabriel helped her to put them around Bellamy. A few minutes later, Cadogan was putting the code again, and this time, they were really going to Earth.</p><p>The green light reappeared, and they all went through it. Niylah, Jackson and Indra were holding his body, Octavia and Clarke had their hands together, and the rest of the group followed them.</p><p>A second later, they were back on earth, inside the Second Dawn bunker again, but this time, it felt different. Octavia looked around, trying not to remember what once had happened in there.</p><p>Quickly, they were in the small room, looking to the door on the roof.</p><p>"Wait." Murphy said, when Gabriel was about to open it. "The air could be toxic."</p><p>It was a joke, they knew it. But just three of them understood. Octavia, Miller and Clarke looked to him with a smirk.</p><p>"If the air is toxic, we're dead anyway." Clarke said, with tears on her eyes. Not that they had once stopped. No. She couldn't. But she let a small smile appears on her face, happy to knew that he still remembers.</p><p>"Someone wants to be the first?" Gabriel asked as he opended the door.</p><p>The four of them, that had been in that situation before, changed a look, but Octavia was the one who talked.</p><p>"I'll go." She said. "But they are coming with me."</p><p>To be fair, Octavia was the first, but the other three were right after her. They stand there, side by side, without saying a word. Still inside the bunker, Raven and Madi were holding the others. They knew why they were doing that.</p><p>"Do I have to say it again? 'Cause I don't think I can." Octavia said, and they knew what she was talking about.</p><p>"No. Say it again when we are back to stay." Miller answered her.</p><p>A few minutes later, all the group was outside, looking around and trying to recognize the place. They knew where they were, but it was so different. It had trees everywhere, and green. The air was fresh, and they couldn't believe it was really happening.</p><p>"I can't believe my father sent us to Sanctum if we could had just waited a few more years."</p><p>"Yeah. But, it was good, you know? Not saying I would do it again, but Gabriel and Hope wouldn't be here." Octavia answered Jordan.</p><p>In parts, she was right, and Clarke knew that. But she couldn't believe that he could be alive. She could never have died, and they could never have met Russell, or Cadogan.</p><p>They didn't have the rover anymore, so they would have to walk to Arkadia. It wasn't that far, but they had had to pass his body through a few people.</p><p>When they got there, they wanted to do it fast. It was hard to know that in a few minutes, Bellamy was going to be just ashes.</p><p>Arkadia wasn't Arkadia anymore. There weren't that many trees, but it was everything so green and fresh.</p><p>They putted his body on the floor, and Octavia sat by his side. Indra, Niylah, Gaia, Gabriel and Hope, not being so close to him, prepared the hole thing. The others couldn't help. Echo was desolated, and hadn't talked to anyone yet, but was hugging Emori, who was just like her. Raven could only sob, hugging Murphy, who didn't want to show, but was almost breaking too. Miller and Jackson were holding each other, still trying to process everything. Madi and Jordan were sitting on the floor, the girl's head on his shoulder, just looking through the nothing. But Clarke and Octavia were clearly worst. The girls were sitting by his side, one in each, holding their hands and crying over his body.</p><p>Minutes later, they were all in a circle, Bellamy's body in the middle. Octavia was the one who was going to put the fire, but she needed to do something first. She passed the torch to the person by her side, but she had no idea who was.</p><p>She just stepped to his side, and whispered to him "Bell, I know you can't hear me. But I'm so sorry I failed you. You are the best brother, the best friend, the best person I could ever ask for. I love you so much, big brother. I always had, and I'll always do." She took a deep breath and continued. "The last time I was here, it was 132 years ago, in earth years. 142 in my age. But we were in here, and you were by my side, seeing Lincoln's body burn. Now you're here. If you meet him, please tell him I miss him, and I still love him. And tell mom too. Goodbye, big brother." She sniffed and took a step back to her place.</p><p>In seconds, everything was on fire. They had found small pot inside the ship, so they putted his ashes in there. A few minutes later, they were living Arkadia, and heading to the first place they had always been.</p><p>Clarke, Octavia, Miller, Murphy and Raven were leading the way, 'cause they knew better than anyone. Octavia was holding his ashes as they were her life, and to be honest, they were.</p><p>When they got there, it looked like the first day, all those years ago. There were trees everywhere, except for the space in front of the door. It all looked the same, except for the fact that, the first time, they were in a 101. Well, actually, 99, considering the fact that two of them had died in the land.</p><p>The five of them stand there, just looking to that place that they once called home. It felt home. But it wasn't anymore.</p><p>Raven was the first. She looked to her friend, as asking for permission, and then took a handful and spread it across the grass. Then Miller and Muprhy did the same. Clarke was the next, and his sister was the last one.</p><p>After minutes that felt like hours, Cadogan opened his mouth, for the first time. "Okay, so, can we go now?"</p><p>"No." Clarke answered, and her friends were confused. No one has any idea of what she wanted to do. "I- I want to talk to him one last time."</p><p>They nodded, but no one understood. So Madi talked. "Clarke, are you sure?"</p><p>"Yes." She said, more like a whisper.</p><p>"Okay" She finally said, and then turned to Raven. "Is there any radio here?"</p><p>"A radio? Maybe, but why?" Raven said, confused.</p><p>"Just- just bring it here." The girl said, and the oldest went inside the ship, coming back a few second later with a old, broken radio on her hands, that she pass to Clarke.</p><p>"Do you want us to go inside? Or can we stay?" She asked her mother.</p><p>"You can stay. Just- be quiet okay? All of you."</p><p>Then she sat on the grass, looking to the ashes that stand there, and felt all her friends looking at her, but she didn't mind.</p><p>She pressed the button on the radio, and brought it close to her mouth.</p><p>"Hey Bellamy. It's been years since I don't do this. I just feel like I have to. One last time." She stopped, and she could feel the tears on her eyes again. "The last time I did this, I didn't know it was the last. But, I told you I didn't know why I was still doing it. The truth is, it kept me sane. I know you know that, but talking to you, even that you never had a chance to listened, it kept me sane. It gave me hope, and a reason to keep going. Besides Madi, of course." She stopped again.</p><p>"Bell, I still have so much to tell you. I think I have to start apologizing. I'm sorry, for not being able to save you as many times you saved me. I'm sorry for all the times I putted your life in risk. I'm sorry for not telling you what I felt before, because we never had the time. I'm sorry for not giving us a chance. Whatever 'us' is. We've been through a lot together, Bell. Since I set my feet on this stupid planet, you were by my side, even when we used to hate each other. You were there when all those 'Murphy shit' happened. You were there at Mount Whether. In Polis, when I went to City of Light. You were there for six years, even that you weren't. And I would never be able to tell you how grateful I am for that. For you shooting Jaha and coming down here with us. For you helping me to lead a bunch of stupid teenagers. For you at Mount Whether. For you not giving up on me even after I left you. For you saying that I was out of my mind if I thought I was going to face Emerson by myself. And you almost died for it. I'm grateful for you saying that, if you were in that list, I was in that list. And then writing my name. I'm grateful for you saying you wouldn't have to think with your head, because you got me for that. For you changing 283 of Diyoza's men for me. For you never giving up on me when Josephine happened." She sighed. There was do much more, but she knew she could tell.</p><p>"I love you Bell. I love every single detail on you. I love the way to protect your sister, and the way you always want to take care of everybody. I love the way you smile, and the way you used to call me princess. I love the way you hug me, and the way you look at me. And I hate you for every same reason. I also hate you for making me fall in love with you. And I hate you're not here. Because you're supposed to be."</p><p>"I miss you Bell. I miss you so fucking much and I don't think I'll ever stop. But I'm letting you go. You are so important to me, and I don't have enough words to describe it. You'll always be the guy I fell in love, and that made me fell loved. The one who I could count on, even if we weren't on the same side. Together, remember? Always. We are like the heart and the head, and one can't live without the other. I don't want to. But I will. I'll do this, for us. For you."</p><p>"One day, we're going to meet each other again. I'll hug you, and i'll listen to your voice, and I'll kiss you. But, until that they come, I'll live for us." She stopped and cleaned the tears on her face., taking a deep breath.</p><p>"I hope you're happy now. I hope you're in peace. I hope you got to see your mother again, and all the friends we lost. Please tell them I missed them, too. Tell Monty that maybe, this is how we do better. Tell Jasper that I really hope he was wrong, because I don't think we are the problem."</p><p>"I still have hope. One guy once told me that if we are still breathing, we still have hope. But now- now i have hope for both of us. Because- because now I'm breathing for both of us. I know you used to be the heart, and I know I'm not that good on being it, but I promise I'll try."</p><p>"I- I think that's it. I'm done. I'm letting you go, and hoping I'll see you again. On the other side, or whatever. I love you Bell. Don't you ever forget this ok? Even that you can't listen to me. I fucking love you Bellamy Blake. Forever. May we meet again."</p><p>When she finally stopped, she started listening to the surrounding sobs, that she hadn't listened before. The tears went through her face without stopping, and all she could do was cry. She stood there, crying, looking at his ashes, with the radio still on her hand. Until she felt something touching her shoulder.</p><p>She turned back to find Octavia looking at her, sadly smiling, and helping her to get to her feet. Clarke got up and Octavia hugged her. She had no idea about the radio calls, or the 'she must be really important to you' 'she is'; or the list, or Emerson. Any of them had. But that didn't matter. All she wanted was a hug, and she got it.</p><p>"Uh, sorry to interrupt, but we really need to go now." It was Cadogan. Of course it was.</p><p>Clarke looked at him as wanting to kill him, but instead, she silently nodded and cleaned her face. Cadogan started to walk back to the bunker, followed by his disciples, and then the ones who weren't close to Bellamy. At the end, there was just Clarke, Octavia, Murphy, Miller and Raven, side embracing each other.</p><p>"In peace, may you leave the shore." Raven started.</p><p>"In love, may you find the next." Miller continued.</p><p>"Safe passage on your travels." Murphy kept going.</p><p>"Until our final journey to the ground." It was Clarke who said.</p><p>"May we meet again" Octavia finished.</p><p>"May we meet again." The rest of them repeated.</p><p>"Yu gonplei ste odon, Bellamy Blake." Octavia said for final, and they finally left, looking back once more.</p><p>Clarke smiled to the dropship one last time. "He's in a better place now, right? He's happy, and in peace."</p><p>"Yeah. Yeah, he is." Raven said, smiling back at her.</p><p>"Well, considering the fact that I never saw my brother without worrying about something, is hard to say." She said, as a joke. "But yes. After everything, he's finally in peace."</p><p>"Not to ruin the moment, but serious? I think I never saw Bellamy without worrying about something." Murphy joked.</p><p>They all laughed, agreeing, because they knew it was true.</p><p>"I saw it. Once. The day he saved me from Josephine. When I woke up, and he hugged me, it felt like he was so light, as nothing else could ever worry him."</p><p>"Oh, that's because you didn't get to see him before that. All the 'I need you, Clarke' thing. Sweet, but it was like his world was ending."</p><p>They laughed again, and walked the rest of the way to the bunker remembering their friend, and their moments together.</p><p>Bellamy Blake was part of them. It doesn't matter how much time passed, he would always be remembered. As 'dad of the delinquents', or 'the rebel king' or 'big brother' or 'Bell' or just 'Bellamy.' He was too important to all of them. No, that's wrong. He is.</p>
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